Package Deal
Is your marriage a package deal? "Blending" and stepparenting can get everybody stirred up! But you can create a sense of belonging that allow you to truly become "family".
Do you wonder sometimes how to make it all work?
Your relationship, the kids, your sanity…You are not alone.
Every day in the US, close to 2000 new stepfamilies are formed when parents get married.
We go into our new relationships with lots of love and high hopes, but the honeymoon for couples who walk down the aisle with children is often very short. Reality hits quickly:
- the day-to-day demands of parenting that take away from couple time
- the often-awkward learning phase for new stepparents
- children having a tough time adjusting
- and the inevitable conflicts that come up.
Everyone in the family wonders from time to time, “Where do I fit in here?”
Kids can feel left out, anxious or confused as their parent focuses time and energy on the new partner; stepmoms and stepdads may not feel included in the close bond between the parent and child, and the parent may wonder which way to lean from moment to moment.
Your new family can work, though. You can create a sense of belonging for everyone that allows you to truly become “family.”
You don’t have to just sit back and wait and hope that it will happen for you. You don’t have to worry about being one of the 2 out of 3 that don’t last. You can learn what to do and how to make the process of becoming family go much more smoothly.
What does it take to succeed?
Couples who develop successful families understand the normal evolution of a stepfamily requires time to form strong connections through sharing experiences and building a history together. They establish rules, rituals and traditions together. And maybe most importantly, they recognize that conflict is a normal, useful way that they will grow into the loving family they want.
To learn more, sign up for your copy of "Family by Design: Five Stages to becoming the family you want to be". It's free when you sign up for my newsletter. The article describes the stages of designing your family along with the important questions to address in each stage. It makes a difference to know what's usual for a family like yours and what you can do to ease the transition for everyone.
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